I was thinking about this the other day. How I used to go on road trips nearly every weekend and while it was fun, I realised it was a way to keep from dealing with issues. To show my life was intact while I was totally unravelling on the inside and didn’t know how to stop it or just didn’t know it was happening in the first place really. I loved the experiences of camping in new places, I just wish I knew what was wrong at the time so as to enjoy those moments far more than I was able to. Now…I do love my life more than I ever have but I’m burnt out. The kind that’s kicked your legs out from under you, begging for rest because you’ve been in survival mode ALL your life and your body and mind are just done. Done with the running. There’s no choice but to dig deep and heal the wounds that caused the instability disguised as adventure. How fortunate and grateful I am. I’m happy to be here and glad you exist. It’s been so nice reading your posts and learning from you. Thank you.
This right here is one of the most honest reflections I’ve read. The way you described being “intact on the outside while unraveling on the inside”—I felt that deeply.
You’re not alone in the burnout, the performing, or the survival mode that disguises itself as adventure. I’m so glad you’re finally allowing yourself to rest, and even more grateful that you’re here, reflecting out loud with us. You’re doing the work. And I see you.
You felt it exactly how I hoped someone would. Classic avoidance in a beautiful disguise—that part hit me hard too. And yes, I have a therapist who doesn’t let me hide from myself… even when I try. Thank you for seeing the work behind the words. That means more than you know.
Beautiful, Monica. Such a hard subject to address but incredibly necessary. My form of “running” away has been ministry for decades. It wasn’t until I had an unintentional break that finally broke me of the codependency I had on the “good work” that helped me run from my body & my own needs.
Now, I sit in the stillness & silence more often. It takes a while to adjust to it, but it’s totally worth it.
Cheers to you & all the wonderful pearls of wisdom your own work brings forth. You don’t just heal bodies as a nurse, you help to heal hearts as a writer, friend, & herald.
Your comment gave me pause—in the best way. The honesty in your story, especially about using “good work” as a form of escape, hit deeply. That kind of reflection takes so much awareness, and I’m honored you shared it here.
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve always believed healing isn’t just about what we do—it’s about how we show up. And knowing these posts are landing like that? That’s the deepest reward.
Sending love as you continue choosing stillness, clarity, and peace. You’re doing sacred work, too.
Monica! I am 2 hours shy of my session with my therapist. I do understand the need to keep the feet moving and going, going, going. The stillness I have experienced lately is good. It makes me focus on the tasks here at home. I do love my phone & MacBook Air..
I’ve been pivoting from my usual work; as my child tells me that I’m burned out from people; been in the service industry all my life. So, I’m changing gears to something less interactive with people. I still love people, but I am learning that I don’t have to please everybody. I don’t know if it’s the way I was raised; (first generation American born) or the culture of which tends to teach codependency. Breaking the cycle is hard; but I am here. Love reading what you share with us! Even if I can’t get on a plane with you right now, I do like living vicariously through your adventures! Thank you for doing what you do; saving lives during your silence and then engaging us with your lovely thoughts! Happy Nurses Appreciation Week!
Reading this felt like sitting across from a friend who gets it. Your self-awareness is powerful—especially the part about not needing to please everybody anymore. That shift? That’s everything.
Thank you for sharing your process so honestly. You’re not just pivoting—you’re reclaiming yourself. I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m honored to walk beside you, even if it’s just one post at a time.
And thank you for the kind words and the love for Nurses Week. That means more than you know. 🫶🏼
This was so good. It made me wonder if my version of avoidance is not executing. I procrastinate like crazy—sometimes to my own detriment. I tell myself I thrive under pressure and tight deadlines, but the truth is, I don’t even realize I’m the one creating the stress.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself: What am I avoiding by not moving? And I suspect the answer might be… the life I actually desire. Maybe some part of me doesn’t believe I deserve it. I grew up in survival mode, so the stress of last-minute deadlines might just be recreating the chaos I’m used to. It feels familiar. Safe, even. But I know it’s costing me. It's costing me a lot.
Your reflection really helped me start to name that. Thank you.
I was thinking about this the other day. How I used to go on road trips nearly every weekend and while it was fun, I realised it was a way to keep from dealing with issues. To show my life was intact while I was totally unravelling on the inside and didn’t know how to stop it or just didn’t know it was happening in the first place really. I loved the experiences of camping in new places, I just wish I knew what was wrong at the time so as to enjoy those moments far more than I was able to. Now…I do love my life more than I ever have but I’m burnt out. The kind that’s kicked your legs out from under you, begging for rest because you’ve been in survival mode ALL your life and your body and mind are just done. Done with the running. There’s no choice but to dig deep and heal the wounds that caused the instability disguised as adventure. How fortunate and grateful I am. I’m happy to be here and glad you exist. It’s been so nice reading your posts and learning from you. Thank you.
This right here is one of the most honest reflections I’ve read. The way you described being “intact on the outside while unraveling on the inside”—I felt that deeply.
You’re not alone in the burnout, the performing, or the survival mode that disguises itself as adventure. I’m so glad you’re finally allowing yourself to rest, and even more grateful that you’re here, reflecting out loud with us. You’re doing the work. And I see you.
Feel this one in my soul and down to my souls.
Classic avoidance, I know all too well.
Thank you for your pearls of wisdom.
You have a terrific therapist.
And more importantly, you really work it and allow yourself to glean and grow with intention. Truly appreciate the intimate shares, Monica.
xo
You felt it exactly how I hoped someone would. Classic avoidance in a beautiful disguise—that part hit me hard too. And yes, I have a therapist who doesn’t let me hide from myself… even when I try. Thank you for seeing the work behind the words. That means more than you know.
Beautiful, Monica. Such a hard subject to address but incredibly necessary. My form of “running” away has been ministry for decades. It wasn’t until I had an unintentional break that finally broke me of the codependency I had on the “good work” that helped me run from my body & my own needs.
Now, I sit in the stillness & silence more often. It takes a while to adjust to it, but it’s totally worth it.
Cheers to you & all the wonderful pearls of wisdom your own work brings forth. You don’t just heal bodies as a nurse, you help to heal hearts as a writer, friend, & herald.
Your comment gave me pause—in the best way. The honesty in your story, especially about using “good work” as a form of escape, hit deeply. That kind of reflection takes so much awareness, and I’m honored you shared it here.
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve always believed healing isn’t just about what we do—it’s about how we show up. And knowing these posts are landing like that? That’s the deepest reward.
Sending love as you continue choosing stillness, clarity, and peace. You’re doing sacred work, too.
I read this 20 minutes ago and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Powerful stuff. Thanks for giving us so much food for thought.
I got you bestie! 🫶🏼
Monica! I am 2 hours shy of my session with my therapist. I do understand the need to keep the feet moving and going, going, going. The stillness I have experienced lately is good. It makes me focus on the tasks here at home. I do love my phone & MacBook Air..
I’ve been pivoting from my usual work; as my child tells me that I’m burned out from people; been in the service industry all my life. So, I’m changing gears to something less interactive with people. I still love people, but I am learning that I don’t have to please everybody. I don’t know if it’s the way I was raised; (first generation American born) or the culture of which tends to teach codependency. Breaking the cycle is hard; but I am here. Love reading what you share with us! Even if I can’t get on a plane with you right now, I do like living vicariously through your adventures! Thank you for doing what you do; saving lives during your silence and then engaging us with your lovely thoughts! Happy Nurses Appreciation Week!
Jennifer,
Reading this felt like sitting across from a friend who gets it. Your self-awareness is powerful—especially the part about not needing to please everybody anymore. That shift? That’s everything.
Thank you for sharing your process so honestly. You’re not just pivoting—you’re reclaiming yourself. I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m honored to walk beside you, even if it’s just one post at a time.
And thank you for the kind words and the love for Nurses Week. That means more than you know. 🫶🏼
How has this been going for you recently? Do you feel any different?
I think it’s funny how I just posted a piece I wrote yesterday and then saw this notification and read it. 😭😭
A piece about being still*
This was so good. It made me wonder if my version of avoidance is not executing. I procrastinate like crazy—sometimes to my own detriment. I tell myself I thrive under pressure and tight deadlines, but the truth is, I don’t even realize I’m the one creating the stress.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself: What am I avoiding by not moving? And I suspect the answer might be… the life I actually desire. Maybe some part of me doesn’t believe I deserve it. I grew up in survival mode, so the stress of last-minute deadlines might just be recreating the chaos I’m used to. It feels familiar. Safe, even. But I know it’s costing me. It's costing me a lot.
Your reflection really helped me start to name that. Thank you.
Just silence and my thoughts? No music, tv, or other distractions? That sounds scary!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 Yet, I need to figure out WHY it's scary. 😮💨😮💨😮💨